The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2012)
This was rather charming and I enjoyed it very much. The characters were very well written. The way they were introduced actually worked, though when I first say a character’s name appearing on screen I groaned a bit, btu whatever, it worked. It was a very pretty movie as well (the script reminds us of that quite often, since that’s kind of the point of the movie). I expected more of them to...
This is 40 (2012)
It had funny parts, was pretty well written, and overall I’d say it was good, but it wasn’t the most fun move to watch. It didn’t really seem to have that much of a plot, more like a few months/year/however long in the lives of these characters. They didn’t really change by the end, and they weren’t even really that different than they were in Knocked up six years ago. I like it enough but...
It’s Twlight, so as usual I go in with crazy low expectations. And dare I say, I actually enjoyed this one. Knowing that it was the end certainly helped, but this was actually kind of fun to watch. Terrible acting and writing, as usual, btu it looked great, and the big battle at the end had more decapitations per minute than anything I’ve ever seen before. Hopefully Kristin Stewart retires...
Seven Psychopaths (2012)
I think I built this one up in my head a bit too much. It was good, really good actually, but based on the talent involved I was expecting greatness. Walken was great, as he is in everything, Colin Farrel was good too, and Rockwell. Shit, all the actors nailed it. And it was decently written and directed. The only problem here is me I suppose. Or maybe I just thought it was overly violent...
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010)
Hot damn this was awesome! It had been on my list of movies to watch for a long time, years maybe, and I really wish I’d seen it sooner. This is exactly the type of movie that you should go into knowing very little and just enjoy. I will recommend this to all of my friends, and it’s on Netflix so it’s easy to watch. If you love horror movies this is great, btu even if you don’t I think it will...
A League of Their Own (1992)
Crystal wanted to watch this and I had never seen it so I figured, what the hell. It’s practically a classic at this point, and I’ve quoted it plenty of times, but now I can say I’ve seen it. It was very good. Like, really good. Even though it didn’t have that strong of a plot, it worked anyway. I mean, it had a plot, but it was not plot driven. It was just like a year in the life of these...
This was one of those movies that I kind of wish I hadn’t watched, but not because it was bad. It was shot very well, the acting was pretty darn good, and the overall feel was perfect for what they were going for. It’s just not the kind of feels I like to have. I don’t know how much of this is truly based on fact, but I know the basic concept is and it’s pretty fucked up what people will do...
I had wanted to see this for so long but we just never got around to it. Finally it showed up on HBO OnDemand so we went for it and boy oh boy was this good. Found footage done right. It’s probably one of the best superhero/villain origin stories I’ve ever seen. I must say that I was sure I knew where it was going; the main guy would go full evil and kill the other two, escaping capture at the...
The Five-Year Engagement (2012)
Meh. I didn’t like it. It had some good moments but overall it was just not very good. Not that the actors were bad, I like all of them and thought they did fine, but the story just wasn’t for me. I get that they were trying o be realistic and all but as it is most time when filmmakers try this with what should have been funny, it’s just depressing and hard to watch. And then that ending with...
Road House (1989)
An 80s classic that slipped by me. I always thought it looked stupid, but ended up loving it. Tai Chi, throat ripping, bar fights, exploding building, throat ripping, giant bears and oh yeah THROAT RIPPING. Yeah he actually does it. They set it up early and pay it off perfectly. I’ll stop and watch the shit outta this any time I see it on TV. Movies don’t get much more 80s than this.
The Grey (2012)
Why did this come out in January? A month earlier and it may have earned a few Oscars nods last year. It was excellent. The plane crash was one of the best I’ve ever seen in a film. Great writing, really grim stuff, it sucked seeing each guy get picked off or otherwise meet his fate, even the asshole dude. That’s how you know it’s good, I was sad when the asshole died. And the last guy...
I AM THE LAW. I enjoyed this, a lot actually. Way better than the Stallone version. It felt like a very small story, 80% of the movie is in a single building (sorry, a MEGABLOCK, right off the MEGAHIGHWAY), located in MEGACITY ONE). Usually for a movie adaptation you go for something a bit bigger than what could almost pass for an episode of Dredd: The TV Show, but it worked. Karl “Frowny...
Total Recall (2012)
WTF, no Mars? No Arnold cameo? What a disappointment. Well, not really, you’d need to have expectations to be disappointed. It was watchable, had some really cool action set pieces and the visuals were amazing. But the script was silly and pointless, and almost all the acting was pretty terrible. Except Bryan Cranston and Kate Beckinsale. They were cool. The ending was not at all...
I think the writer of the bookends part of this movie forgot that to make your audience feel something (besides joy) when a character is killed you need to make them likable. They kept picking off the guys who were robbing the hosue and honestly I was glad to see them go. They were all assholes with no redeeming features. Whatever. That part of the movie was dumb and I almost just turned it off...
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)
Full disclosure: I fell asleep an hour in and then later watched the last 20 minutes. Those last 20 minutes were pretty good, Holmes and Moriarty make for some fun scenes. But the rest was awful, confusing, self-indulgent, and surprisingly dull. The first few minutes of the movie make you feel like you somehow started halfway in (I actually brought up the time display to make sure I...
Premium Rush (2012)
A bike messenger thriller. And it was actually good. Good for a night in with nothing better to do. Exactly what it needed to be. Van Alden the Creeper was way over the top and I loved it. JGL had short hair. The plot, in the end, ended up being really small. I thought it would connect to this big conspiracy or something, but it was just a dirty cop and woman trying to get her kid back....
Fucking hilarious, best comedy I’ve seen in years. Needs to be rewatched for full appreciation. It was too long ago for an in depth review and I’m short on time, but I loved it.
Pitch Perfect (2012)
Acca-awesome! I can’t believe I said that. I resisted this one, but in the end loved it, as I deep down knew I would. It’s Stick It/Bring it on with singing. I initially dismissed it as Glee style bullshit, but the acting and writing in this are actually good, especially Anna Kendrick. In the shower. The ending was rather abrupt (who even won?), but who cares, it’s utterly rewatchable and it...
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
You’re probably thinking: Wow, he is only just seeing TDKR?. Of course not. I saw it opening weekend in glorious IMAX. We were actually sitting a smidge too close, but oh well. The thing is, I was pretty disappointed by this. I would have seen it again in theaters, but I’m lucky enough to get out and see what I see now, no time for seeing something twice. So I have since watched it again at...
Argo fuck yourself. It was great. Best Picture nominee for sure, but not a winner. Sure they took tons of liberties but if they played it straight it would have been a real snoozer. Ben is turning into quite the little director. Very curious to see what’s next for him.
I have no complaints here. I loved it from start to finish, even the song. Except maybe that his fall in the beginning was just a little too high and violent to believe he lived. But the way they brought everything back to the James Bond roots by the end was great. These last three movies will be looked back on as a bit of an experiment to modernize the franchise, and two of them will forever...
The Sitter (2011)
This was good, better than I thought. Watched it a while ago, actually forgot about it until now. So I guess it wasn’t THAT good. But, it was certainly worth a watch. Thus ends my shittiest review yet.
[REC] 2 (2009)
So we FINALLY watched this and it was….alright I guess. It would have been much better as a double feature with the first one. I loved the first one so much because it felt like 28 Days Later and then WHAM they hit you with this fucked up demonic shit at the end and leave you on a great shot of the main character being dragged away. With this one there’s no real mystery, you know what the...
Magic Mike (2012)
I knew I would like this, and if not for the baby Crystal probably would have gotten me to see it in theaters with her. Instead, like most movies these days, it had to wait for home viewing. In any case I really enjoyed it. It was funny, well written, and the cast for the most part was really good. The female lead was like an (even more) emotionless version of Kristen Stewart, but the guys...
I let this one stew for a bit because I couldn’t decide if it was brilliant or just a big old mess. I decided on brilliant. The actual time travel does have problems but there is a scene in this movie that’s written to tell you “It doesn’t matter that the physics and shit doesn’t really make sense or match other movies. This is a story about a guy.” And I’m ok with that. The time travel was...
I slacked real hard on this one, it’s been a month or two since we watched it. Not a lot of time for movies these days, barely enough time for TV (though we did barrel through Homeland, amazing series). Anyway, Super. That sure got out of hand towards the end. It begins a bit lightly, but then turns dark and depressing and disturbingly violent. When Juno is killed that really cemented this as...
The Human Centipede 2 (2011)
I didn’t want to finish watching this. It took me about 4 sit downs to get through the whole thing, all on my iPhone. The first half is kind of boring but sets the tone, pretty much like all horror movies. But then once he has assembled his victims and stars building the centipede, oh lord. There’s a scene before that where he caves in his mother’s face and then sits her up at the dinner table...
This one kept showing up as my recommendation on Netflix, and it was in the best/most popular category of some streaming recommendations sites, so I went for it. Not that that stuff was necessary, it looked interesting just from the basic description, it just took me a while to get around to it, and I’m glad I did. Stifler, or a dumber, nicer version of Stifler, is an alright hockey player but...
Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
This was one of those movies that I had always sort of wanted to see but just never bothered to get a copy. But there it was, newly available on Netflix, and I had nothing better to do. It was so good. Really great. Every single actor was fucking perfect. Multiple Oscars should have gone to this movie. The Alec Baldwin speech was even more awesome than I had expected. I really can’t praise...
Aka Space Jail: The Movie. What can I say, it was perfect for what it was. Even the horrible CG motorcycle chase in the beginning. It looked worse than most video gasme cut scenes. But everything else was good, they must have put that scene off until the end and ran out of money. This is Escape from New York in a Space Jail. If that doesn’t make you want to see it, nothing will. Guy Pearce...
Ok, I saw this too long ago, but I’ll try to put this together. Overall I thought it was great, but with too many silly writing problems. The characters, except the non-human, are paper thin and just stupid. I LOVE ROCKS. I’M A SMART SCIENTIST, LET’S TAKE OFF OUR HELMETS IN THE ALIEN ATMOSPHERE. I’M IN CHARGE HERE AND OLD GUY PEARCE IS MY DADDDDYYYYYY AND I CAN’T RUN SIDEWAYS. It was...
Nick of Time (1995)
Meh, this was not great. Cool concept, years before 24, but the execution was a solid “meh”. It’s funny to see young Johnny Depp. And Walken is always good. But a lot of this was just silly. It’s never clear why they need him to kill the governor. Why not just hire a pro? Or at least get someone with a little competence and then kill him after. It’s like they...
Judge Dredd (1995)
Oh my. I’m glad I watched this. This is a truly “so bad you need to see it movie”. It has everything going for it, a future setting, a lead you can’t understand, classic 90s comic sidekick, a nonsensical script, it’s pretty much perfect. Take a listen to the How Did This Get Made podcast, it’s why I watched this, and they cover everything I could think of. SPAGHETTI ROBOT.
The Amazing Spider-man (2012)
How can I not compare this to Sam Raimi’s 2001 classic, Spider-man? What was better: -CGI. It’s 10 years later, so it’d better be. -The action, but just barely. I never had a problem with the action in Raimi’s Spider-man, but this one really knocked it out of the park. -The love interest. Emma Stone is adorable as Gwen, and the chemistry between them is better than anything we saw with Tobey and...
21 Jump Street (2012)
This was awesome, hilarious. I ignored it when it was in theaters, writing it off as a stupid remake of a show I didn’t care about, hoping to cash in on nostalgia. And even if it was that, I still loved it. Knowing nothing about the TV show I can’t make any comparisons, but this would have worked just fine as an original property. Calling it 21 Jump Street did allow for a great Johnny Depp...
Final Destination 5 (2011)
Another movie I had not planned to watch but it was starting at the right time so, what the hell. We actually missed the first 5 minutes or so, coming in about halfway into the opening vision. Good thing they pretty much recap the whole thing minutes later as he’s remembering the order in which people died, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Though it was a little confusing because we...
Recount (2008) / Game Change (2012)
This might be the longest I’ve gone between watching something and writing about it. These were both very good. Game Change makes Sarah Palin look like a complete fucking idiot, I’m sure there was some dramatic license taken here, but if this is even close to the truth it’s terrifying to think that she was a few votes and a heart attack away from the Oval Office. Kevin Spacey was very good in...
Morning Glory (2010)
I was working from home and had just finished up, so I was sitting in the living room with Ronnie waiting for Crystal to come home, looking for something mindless to have on TV in the background. I saw that this movie was starting at that very moment, so I turned it on. From what I remember of the trailers and commercials it was about Rachel McAdams and Harrison Ford as co-anchors on a morning...
This Means War (2012)
This was pretty awful, but god damn they are all so charming it’s hard to say I disliked it. Bad writing, silly story, but decent acting and it was fun. Also I watched this about a month ago so I don’t have the details I usually like to include, oops.
The Avengers (2012)
So yeah I saw The Avengers on opening weekend, but I’m writing this on June 14. Amazingly enough I have not seen any other new movies since then, not even at home. Well, we did watch Anonymous, but I fell asleep halfway through, and thought what I saw was awful, I don’t really count it. Damn kid. Anyway, Avengers rocked in every way, I don’t know what else to say. If I had written this...
Tower Heist (2011)
This really wasn’t that bad at all. It was mindless fun, exactly what I needed. The plot is exactly what you see in the trailer, and the end is exactly what you’d except, give or take a highly illogical gold car. All the leads did a good job, even Eddie Murphy. I love a good heist movie. This isn’t exactly that, but it is a heist movie, so it got those bonus points. And really, the gold car...
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
I loved it. It was so well written. The characters were instantly likable and just the right amount of cliché, which appropriately grew over time. I knew a little bit more than I wish I did going into it, but not nearly enough to have it spoiled. The trailers gave away that Topher didn’t die, but otherwise all the stuff that seemed spoilery is actually set up in the opening scene. Great...
American Reunion (2012)
Even as a fan of the first three movies, I found it hard to love this one. There were some moments that really worked, like MILF, but so much just fell flat. Like The Hangover Part II, this was full of rehashes of jokes that worked way better last time. And the acting, which has never been a highlight of this series, was particularly bad. Especially Rookie of the Year and Chris Klein. So...
While it wasn’t as sad as it seemed it might be, the scene at the end with his mom right before he went into surgery got me. And it’s because in that moment I didn’t identify with him, despite myself being a 20-something handsome dude, but I was seeing it through his moms eyes. All I could think about was watching Ronnie go into a surgery where there is a serious chance she might not come out. ...
This should be filed under Horror and Do Not Watch. Not because it wasn’t good, it was actually quite excellently made, but it’s way too real feeling, I don’t want to worry about this kind of stuff. I don’t know anything about epidemics, but I imagine if one were to happen today it would go down pretty much like this. No one stood out as particularly excellent or bad, everyone just kind of fell...
The Hunger Games (2012)
I gotta say, I really liked it. I was a naysayer the whole time it was being made, but in the end it all came together quite nicely. Not everything was perfect, but enough was. The world of Panem was so wonderfully realized, especially the Capital. They could have gone way over the top, but they kept it pretty real, like an extension of the celebrity that already exists today. The games...
The Three Musketeers (2011)
Was I paying enough attention to properly write this one up? No, not really. But I can say this: it was pretty, it had good action, and it was silly (but in a good way). What else can you expect from Paul W.S. Anderson? I thought it would be horrible, and if you think it is I totally support your choice, but I found it to be just the right about of nonsense and action to be utterly enjoyable.
In Time (2011)
So this was not good, yet I found myself oddly fascinated by it. When I first saw the trailer I immediately dismissed it because the concept was just too ridiculous. How could they possibly explain how people stop aging and then have a clock in their arm that determines how long they live? Turns out they can’t. The first line is a JT VO saying something like “We don’t know how it happened, but...
What's Your Number? (2011)
Adorable. Anna Farris always is. The movie was as cookie cutter as they come, with a couple self referential lines thrown in there to keep it from being completely corny (I know where he lives, why don’t I just go wait there?). It’s ok though, her and Chris Evans were great together and there were plenty of funny moments.
Casino Jack (2010)
Pretty solid find on Netflix. This guy is a dick but they do a good job of making him not really seem like a total dick. Barry Pepper was over the top and kind of awesome. Keven Spacey deserved that Golden Globe nom.